This is a long one, so buckle up.

Before deciding on a breed, prospective dog owners need to take a few things into consideration. The first is living space. If you are living in a small apartment, you may not want a furry behemoth towering over you wherever you look. You may prefer a more compact companion to Tetris neatly into your home. Similarly, if you don’t have ready access to outdoor space, you may find high energy breeds resort to bulldozing around your living room every time they get the “zoomies”. Indeed, high energy dogs require a lot more walking (read: charging around) than more sedentary creatures (like yours truly), so time and willingness to go out whatever the weather are essential. Time is also an important factor when it comes to grooming. Some breeds actually need regular pampering sessions just to stay healthy. Then there is training. Just like human babies (but unlike most older dogs), puppies need plenty of training, both to stop them turning into complete bastards, and to prevent them turning your home into a veritable septic tank. Speaking of children, do you have any? Are they well-trained? Will your future pet be subjected to unsolicited, sticky-fingered manhandling and constant, high-pitched bellowing (aren’t children delightful?)? If so, a mellow, self-assured breed may be what you need. Similarly, if you already have pets (children aside), they may not be compatible with your prospective pooch. For example, if you already own a small, squeaky rodent, you might not want a dog bred for killing small, squeaky rodents, like a terrier. A final point worth considering is personal preference. What kind of dog do you actually see yourself owning? Do you want something small and cuddly, or big and majestic? Do you prefer a sleek, low maintenance coat, or glorious, flowing locks? Do you want a lazy lap dog, or a perky jogging companion? Do you just really love pugs?

But at the risk of being preachy and annoying, dear readers, with the vast number of dogs living (and dying) in shelters and on the streets, “adopt, don’t shop” really is the way to go. The dog breeding industry is full of ethical problems, which I won’t go into here, but even reputable breeders actively create a need for more homes when there are already too few. Rescuing a shelter dog is not only considerably cheaper, but it means giving a home to an animal in need. Decent shelters also vaccinate, neuter and house train their dogs, saving you the trouble. Additionally, shelter staff know their charges, so are well-equipped to match dog to owner. But if you’re a first-time owner and want a bit of a head-start recognising what you’re looking for, here are some breeds you might want to look out for at your local shelter.

Poodle


Hear me out, they don’t all look ridiculous. In fact they only do that if you force it upon them. Despite (some) appearances, poodles are among the most intelligent breeds in the world. Originally bred as hunting dogs, particularly for retrieving water fowl, poodles love playing fetch and swimming. Because of their intelligence, they also need a lot of mental stimulation. They excel at training activities and canine sports, and make for responsive and eager students. Poodles are highly companionable dogs, loving and tolerant with children and other pets alike. They can be a little guarded or aloof when meeting new people, but usually warm up once they’ve figured them out. A slight drawback to these curly canines is their coat, which requires daily grooming. It is, however, virtually non-shedding, hypoallergenic and water-resistant (neat!). Poodles also conveniently come in three sizes: Toy, Miniature and Standard, with Toys being small enough to fit in your handbag, Standards, large enough to pet without bending down, and Miniatures, somewhere in between (as per official Kennel Club breed specifications).

Golden Retriever


What a surprise! The basic bitch of the dog world. Along with the 2.4 kids and the white picket fence, the golden retriever is essential to the archetypal wholesome family trope. Bored yet? Don’t be. There is so much more to these dogs than meets the eye. For one thing, despite their overwhelming popularity in the USA, golden retrievers are actually a Scottish breed, originally used in hunting to retrieve shot gamebirds (hence the name). As a result, modern goldens love “retrieving” things, and will frequently brings their owners toys and other “gifts”. The breed has retained their famously gentle bite from their gun dog history, making them gentle playing companions. Perhaps their most endearing quality is their temperament. Goldens are everybody’s friend, regardless of who (or what) you are. As such, golden retrievers do extremely well with other pets, children, friends, strangers, you name it! But despite their goofy, puppy-like demeanor, golden retrievers are pretty intelligent and highly trainable. In fact, they need a fair amount of mental stimulation in addition to daily romps to avoid boredom. Side note: they absolutely love water, so prepare for your golden retriever to rapidly become a brown one on muddy walks.

Bichon frisé


The French name bichon frisé roughly translates to “little curly-haired dog”, which pretty well hits the nail on the head, as far as names go. Popular among the French nobility as far back as the 13th century, and equally so with modern-day elderly ladies, you might assume the bichon frisé is nothing more than a lapdog for the pompous and pampered. You’d be wrong. These little dogs did not originate amongst perfumed pompadours, but were actually companions to (likely equally odoriferous) Spanish sailors on the high seas. As such, bichon frisés are highly adaptable, lively, friendly and intelligent. They make useless guard dogs, however, partly because they are relatively quiet, mainly because they will attempt to befriend any intruder. They make great companions for children and other pets, due to their playful and non-aggressive nature. They enjoy vigorous play and training sessions, followed by downtime and cuddles. While bichon frisés are trainable and eager to please, owners should beware the “bichon blitz”. This refers to the remarkable bursts of speed and apparent deafness to all commands that these dogs are periodically prone to.

Greyhound


The greyhound is not only the fastest breed of dog in the world, but also one of the oldest, with its origins dating back perhaps 6000-8000 years. Though not much is known of its exact origins, the greyhound is known to have been both a hunting dog and an elegant companion to nobility as far back as ancient Egypt. Greyhounds belong to the sighthound family, so have excellent eyesight and a strong urge to chase. Consequently, they may not do well in houses with small animals, unless properly socialised. They do, however, get along well with other dogs and are non-aggressive in nature. Greyhounds are highly affectionate, often referred to as “velcro dogs”, due to their tendency to follow their owners from room to room. Their quiet, sensitive nature means they respond best to gentle training, and need children (and everybody else) to treat them with politeness and empathy (who doesn’t?), though even overly boisterous handling will be met with avoidance over aggression or growling. Despite their size and remarkable athletic abilities, greyhounds do not actually require much exercise. Often referred to as “40mph couch potatoes”, these beautiful dogs are content with a couple of 20min walks per day, provided they have space to run. Sadly, many retired (and discarded) racing dogs find themselves in shelters (a poor place for so loving a creature). For families looking for a large, low maintenance sweetheart, a greyhound may be the perfect companion.

Yorkshire terrier


Don’t let their diminutive size fool you, these tiny tyrants are big dogs in minuscule bodies. A true terrier, your average Yorkie simply does not know how ridiculously small it is. Weighing between 2lb and 7lb (900g-3.2kg), you could carry it in your handbag, if it would only suffer the indignity. But despite their fiesty, brave and energetic nature, Yorkies are remarkably loving and protective dogs. They create strong bonds with their owners, and protect them at all costs (or think they do). Due to their history of work in pest control, Yorkies may not do well with other small pets (they don’t realise they’re nearly the same size as your hamster), but make surprisingly good watchdogs. This is not because they’re useful at fighting off intruders (despite what they believe themselves), but because they’re very good at shouting. They will make their opinions felt by all around them, so children who are too rough or insistent may get the odd nip if they don’t respect their space when asked. For the owner prepared to put a bit of time into training and grooming, and who wants a dog with character, the Yorkshire terrier is a fun, playful, adoring family member.

Bernese Mountain Dog


Growing up to 28inches (70cm) at the shoulder and weighing up to 120lb (55kg), the Bernese mountain dog is an impressive animal. Originally bred for farm work in Switzerland, the Berner was used for everything from herding to pulling milk carts. Modern Berners retain their large, powerful build, as well as their herding instinct and general desire to work and learn. They are naturally self-assured and wary of strangers, though non-aggressive, so make decent watchdogs. With family, Berners are exceptionally loving, tolerant and gentle, and often form a special bond with a chosen individual. They are great with other dogs and smaller pets, and are even tolerant of occasionally being ridden (by small children. No Dave, not you. You’re a 42 year old accountant, get your shit together). Due to their inevitable size and power, Berners need to be trained and socialised from a young age. Leash training is a must, lest your ex-draft-animal rips your arm off because it got excited. Berners do need moderate exercise and mental stimulation, as well as some grooming, but are not high-mainenance animals. Loyal, impressive and loving, these gentle giants make excellent family pets.

English Springer Spaniel


As the name suggests, springer spaniels are BOUNCY. These medium-sized, working dogs were, and are, used in hunting to flush birds into the air by leaping at them. Springers are very energetic, intelligent and playful, so require owners who can keep up. Provided enough vent for their energy, they are easy to train and calm in the home. They do great with kids (and indeed anyone else willing to play with them) but, like most hunting dogs, are prone to chasing smaller animals and birds. They can live comfortably with cats and other dogs, however, if properly socialised. Springer spaniels are naturally cheerful and affectionate, and form strong bonds with their owners. They like to be involved in all activities and don’t deal well with being left alone. Springers love to be busy or work alongside their humans, and are frequently used as sniffer or search and rescue dogs, due to their focus and desire to please. An ideal Springer spaniel family is always doing things together. It doesn’t matter so much what said “things” are, so long as your dog feels included and useful.

Of course, every dog is different and their breeding is only a part of who they are. Individual personality, training and life experience all make a difference, in dogs as in humans. In the age-old question of “nature vs nurture”, who is to say which is the more important?